Saturday, April 21, 2007
posted on: 2:51 AM
Was reading some magazines. This page really caught my eyes, read below posted:
"What women say & what she (really) mean?"
Women have been touted as the most hard-to-comprehend creatures since... i can't remember. They cry for no reason (or so we think), complain incessantly, shop tirelessly, and most of all, never seem to be mean what they say. Over the years, they have developed a whole systems of codes with which to confuse men with (and in which men are expected to immediately understand and given the cold treatment when we don't) Here, we translate for you the language of woman to save you the trouble of guessing if she meant what she said.
She says: You don't understand me at all!
Translation: Stop interrupting me and just listen to me, I'll be less bitchy after complaining all that i want to.
What you should do: Stop interrupting her and nod intently at everything she says while pretending to look attentive.
She says: It's your decision.
Translation: You had better choose what i just decided for you. What you should do: If you wish to g et lucky that night, do as the translation says and not what she actually said.
She says: We need to talk.
Translation: I want to complain about how you have been staring at that girl next to us for the past five minutes.
What you should do: Give her your most charming smile and turn all your attention to her and listen to what she has to say (or complain, rather). Do not attempt to bed her or get touchy-freey at this point or she will just think that you are taking her words lightly. Ths will lead to more complications and we don't want all that, do we?
She says: Size doesn't matter.
Translation: Ooh... I sure am geting better at lying. I should try out for Star Search this year.
What you should do: Or rather, what you shouldn't do. Why ask her such questions when you hate her to ask if her butt looks big in that pants?
She say: I don't want to talk about it.
Translation: Give me ten more minutes. I'll consolidate all my points against your favour before using them in one shot so you can't retaliate.
What you should do: Distract her with something seet, as soon as humanly possible. If you are at a shopping centre, buy her a little soft toy. If you are along the streets of town, buy her an ice cream. In short, do something nice for her so she will lose focus on her goal and start basking contentedly in your attention.
She says: We have to communicate.
Translation: You're not agreeing to me enough.
What you should do: Nod approvingly at everythings she says. Attention is not necessary if you can act well. She will then ask you for your take on things. Reply, "I have to say that you do make lots of sense. Wonder why hadn't thought of that earlier." Whoever said that communication is a two-way process either hasn't spoken to women or is one.
She says: Just give me a minutes; I'll be ready soon.
Translation: That is, i'm done with choosing a dress from twenty others after trying on all of them, putting on foundation, mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, blusher, and choosing just the right pair of matching shoes. Make yourself at home and find yourself a comfy seat. But oh, don't you dae sit on that baby pink cushion I just bought without taking off your socks.
What should you do: Make yourself comfortable at home, without sitting on that pink cushion, of course. Coming to fetch her later in future is NOT a viable option.
She says: I'm sorry.
Translation: But soon, you'e the one who will be.
What should you do: Haven't you heard of the saying. Prevention is better than cure? Oh well, it's too late now, she has spoken the magic words. Prepare or her wrath shortly. The best you can do is to look uncertain, like it could be your fault and pray that her heart softens upon seeing your pleading puppy eyes. An alternative be, "(regardless of whether this is true). But this is a risky options as she could take a turn for the worst should she be dissatisfied with your efforts.
She says: Why are you especially sweet to me tonight
Translation: Have you done something wrong? Either tahtorit must be the new cleavage revealing dress i'm wearing. Men are all lust-filled creatures. Good thing i bought that $999.00 dress. With his credit card.
What should you do: Reply that is one of the few nights that she noticed your efforts to stick to your New Year resolution.
She says: It's not you, it's me.
Translation: It's not me, it's you. And whatever it is you had better do something real soon to cheer her up or i'll give you hell.
What should you do: Give her a gentle yet reassuring hug, look her in the eyes and say, "You do know i love you a lot, don't you?" Then smile, let her melt into your gaze, and, as suddenly as you started your charming- boyfriend charade, whisk her away to a noisy place lke an arcade or to watch a movie so she doesn't have time for a breather. Taa-da! Works wondersif it's not a major issue like you getting caught cheating on her the day before. She'll wonder why she even had doubts about your relationship in he first place (Which is high likely what she was fretting over anyway).
Concluson.
Yes. in case you haven't realised, women only say things they don't mean so as:
(1) - Not to hurt your feelings.
(2) - To let you know that they are unhappy.
So in short, just pamper her more and you will find that she uses more comprehensive language after sometime. And more body language, of course.
Dessy Desmond Tan.
- the end -
