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Saturday, June 30, 2007

posted on: 4:20 PM

Ten Ways To Chase A Girl, Away!

You meet the girl of your dreams.
You ask her out on a first date.
You follow up with flowers and candlelight dinners.
All seems to be going well when she suddenly declares,
“Sorry, but I don’t think it’s going to work out between us.”
And you ask yourself, WHY?

The one questions that all guys ask after getting the boot is “What went wrong?”
Often, guys commit certain “sins” which they are unaware of, resulting in blunders that prove ever so fatal. To us, we could think that we’ve scored plenty of points but to the unfathomable female species, we’re embarking on a one-way street to disaster. Showering her with gifts and making sure she reaches home safe are nice gestures, but in reality, the girls’ scorecard shows otherwise. We at XXXX shall spare you the agony of the guessing game by showing you the pitfalls while chasing your baby. So no more pondering what went wrong and go knock yourself out following these tips!

(1) - Whiny & Needy.
- It’s not the pet peeve of only one or two girl friends who have gathered during bitching sessions to discuss about. 6 out of 10 females I know have complained about their respective halves calling or dropping by to check on them twice a day or MORE.
Even my girl friends who are studying in universities have busy enough lives to be even bothered with clingy and possessive boyfriends down.
Just drop her a line saying where you are going to be if you want to make it subtle about knowing her schedule. Most girls will simply reply with the next place she’ll be at, as a common reaction. Don’t whine if she doesn’t. She probably doesn’t have the habit yet. Letting her know that you would be worried will just do the trick.
And so, for the manly males who still want to appear masculine in front of your girls. Stay off the possessive, whiny and needy road. It’s not working and never will.

(2) - Money Talk.
- I know of a few guys who have grown wary of girls going out with them for their money that they have now turn to the “Dutch” method when coming to bills. Well, it’s not like I have a problem with that, and in fact, some of my girl friends will be less suspecting of the guys wanting something in return. BUT, do you really think that splitting the bill to the very last cent is telling your date that you are a fun and easy-going person to be with? I don’t think so.
To follow up on that point, girls do not always let the guys pay EVERYTHING. I have talked to my girl friends regarding that; most girls will usually volunteer to foot the bill when they can. Like for example, if guy paid for dinner, girl will buy the movies tickets to King Kong. What I gathered from my experience is that girls really know how to pamper their boys when necessary.
If you are that that broke, you don’t have to sell your soul out for a freaking big diamond in order to impress her. She’s not going to think lesser of you just because you got her something barely visible. She may joke about it, but ultimately, a good girlfriend who’s appreciative of the gift will show you how pleased she is with your gesture. If you had skipped your meals and skimped like nobody’s business in order to get her a simple ring, and she still ungratefully complained about it, I’ve got one piece of advise for you; drop her immediately.

(3) - Controlling Freak.
- “Wait. You’re not my Dad. Why the hell are you trying to make me into someone you want me to be?”
Some girls too, not just guys have this bad habit of wanting to change someone you are with into someone you love to be with. Whatever happened to “I love you for who you are and what you will be?”

(4) - Humility? Not.
- There’s always a need for constant recognition from the other guys and girls in the mind of a guy. I respect that.
But showing off to the extent that all run for cover just because you opened your mouth to talk? Not cool. Practice a little more humility and you may just find more ears listening when you say something. Girls love a little modesty on guys. It’s like a piece of oasis amidst the desert.

(5) - Eyes on the Boobs.
Ah, a favorite past time of the male species, from age 5 to 105 and beyond. Never fails to piss off the female beside you.
Come on, don’t tell me you’ll like your girlfriend ogling at a man’s tight butt when you are right there holding her hand. No? That’s what I though.
And neither will it help things when you have a conversation with a girl while staring at her chest the whole time. That will, without fail, put you out of any list for potential boyfriends if you were on it at any time. No joke.

(6) - Complain King.
- The name probably started out with girls complaining endlessly and was later termed as Complain Queen, and now, in the whole new Singaporean men context, the name for the masculine sex who complains just as much was coined the Complain King.
Yes, I’m afraid, guys nowadays complain too. About the weather, the clothes, the food, the shops, the place, and so on. Just as much as the girls. And I’m not sure just how much of complaining a girl can take from a guy.
Why, aren’t guys supposed to be the ones who grumble about theirs complaining too much?

(7) - Overly Touchy Feely.
- Now, don’t go overly-touchy with any girl even if she’s yours and you want other men to stay off “your property”. From the many feedbacks that I get from females, guys tend to be really physical when trying to show their affection.
Well,, may I suggest that you keep it to a minimal in the initial stages of your relationship? Not all girls relish the idea of being marked as property when they themselves are not sure of the relationship. Come on, what if the markings never come off?

(8) - The Guy who Hides Behind his Girl aka Wuss.
For ages, men have been the knights in shining armor for their damsels in distress. Apparently with the transition of time, and in the “men-and-women-are-equal” century, both sexes have learned to switch roles in some relationship. Unheard of? No, really I’ve seen it happen more than once or twice, and it’s enough to give the male species a bad name.
I’ve got this friend *Eric (not his real name) who never fails to amuse me with antics such as these and his examples I shall list down. He and his girlfriend often join us in some gatherings and there was this time when he was supposed to bring tickets for an event we were going but had accidentally left it at his girlfriend’s place. Just as the guys in the group were going to swoop down on him like eagles on prey, he turned to his girlfriend and scolded, “See lah you! Who asked you to forget to remind me to bring the tickets?!” My initial reaction was like, what?! Wasn’t it your own fault if you were entrusted the responsibility of bringing the tickets?

(9) - Putting Her Down.
A girl can get real pessimistic at times, I know. I’ve been there, seen them and met them all. But have you ever come across guys who actually tell their girls that she’s fat, stupid, being a moron, ugly, pimply, whatever awful remarks you name it.
Please. Don’t ever go telling your girl to lose weight just because she has a bit more love handles that you can handles that you can handle. If you want a skinny girl, go find someone anorexic. If you want someone smart, go hang around NUS Law faculty and see if the lawyers-to-be girls dig you. Never tell a girl straight in the face that she should just wake up her silly mind and just use her brain for some simple exercise! That’s just being a jerk man. Not the least bit gentlemanly.
Seriously guys don’t think that you are just being honest in doing that. You are merely kicking your girl down the rubbish chute and dumping more rubbish on her while she’s down there! And they never forget.

(10) - Ego blocking the way.
- That sexist joke about why the 3 wise men took 3 days to get to the manager that Jesus Christ was in, it kept replaying in mind when I wrote this part.
Why you ask? Let me just announce the answer to the silly riddle first.
Answer: Because they could not bear to ask for directions.
Yes, For ages, men including boys and male animals have jumbo-sized egos, and that will never fail to create new jokes among the females.
One age-old question the fairer sex will always ask of men is, why on earth is it so hard for men to put aside their egos for awhile, and say sorry when they are wrong? Why must they always turn the table around when they themselves know that they are at fault?
If guys can just honestly apologize, girls would not be so angry all the time, and the world will be a better place for all.

There, you have it. Ten huge reasons why the guys I know can such klutz and how they scare off women they are interested in!

Dessy Desmond Tan.
- the end -